Everyone has a “story.” To some people it may mean describing where they grew up, their family background, where they went to school, their passions in life, or their biggest fears. I’m sure most of you have at one point been asked this question in an interview: “Tell me about yourself.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve always struggled with that question. However, as a follower of Jesus, answering that question is easy because our story is all about what Jesus has done in our life. It’s not about us – it’s about Him.

I was blessed to grow up in a Christian household with two parents who have a relationship with Jesus and instilled Christian values in me from a young age; there was never a time that I didn’t know about God or didn’t go to church. When I was about eight years old, I made the decision to place my trust in God as my Lord and Savior. I recognized that I was a sinner and believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins.  “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved” (Romans 10:9-10). However, though I truly believe I was saved at a young age, I didn’t fully understand what it looked like to walk with Jesus daily. Two elements define my testimony: struggling with doubting God’s goodness in my life as well as self-righteousness.

In middle school and high school, I struggled with comparison, insecurity, anxiety, and not feeling good enough. I was often lonely since I grew up in a town of 1,000 people with no other Christian girls my age and no real friendships aside from a friend who moved away when I was in 9th grade and two friends later on in high school. I had no older girls to look up to know what being a Christian meant. I had too much time alone with my thoughts. In hindsight, I was self-focused and not others-focused. “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (Proverbs 18:1). I thought satisfaction would be found in studying hard and getting good grades, attention from guys, or my parents’ approval. But none of those things truly satisfied me. A highlight of my spiritual walk during this time was attending the Christian summer camp Kanakuk for a couple years, where I was able to meet other believers and get a glimpse of what abiding in the Lord looked like. Additionally, I made a commitment to read the Bible in a year, which was beneficial in increasing my knowledge of who God is. I once read this quote by an unknown author that put into words this period of my life: “Christ is present in all Christians; Christ is prominent in some Christians; but in only a few Christians is Christ preeminent.” Though Christ was in me, He wasn’t the Lord of my life.

Fast forward to my freshman year of college at the University of Tulsa in 2016. I was biting at the bit to go to college because that’s when I felt life would truly start and I would finally have friends. And freshman year did prove to be a blast. I joined a sorority (shout out to Kappa Alpha Theta), became fast friends with my fellow dormmates as well as a couple of older girls in my sorority, and started dating my first boyfriend. I thought life was going great and I was supposedly making up for lost time. Looking back I’m really thankful for the Lord’s protection my freshman year (and the rest of college) because I wasn’t tempted to give into the common peer pressures of getting drunk or hooking up. This was truly all because of the Lord and for my amazing parents and upbringing. However, I did struggle with self-righteousness and didn’t understand the weight of my own sin.

My whole life was turned upside down in the summer of 2017 when I was told the words I never thought I would hear: “You have cancer.” After recovering from the worst of my sickness after about a month in the hospital and the first couple of rounds of chemotherapy, I started processing what was happening to me. I wish I could say that I was joyful and trusted God the entire time. However, I really struggled to see God’s goodness in having cancer. I had to take the first semester of my sophomore year off, missing out on developing newly-formed friendships and worrying that I wouldn’t be able to graduate on time. I had to rely again on my parents to take care of me, feeling weak and helpless and far from the independent freshman I was a few months prior. I lost my hair, worrying about how I looked and nervous it would never grow back. I was scared that the treatment wouldn’t work or that the cancer would come back years later. In my mind, I had lived the “perfect Christian girl” life but had somehow done something wrong to make God angry. However, one day a friend shared with me the story of Jesus healing the blind man in John 9 that completely shifted my perspective. “And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (vs. 8-9). I slowly started to believe the truth that my actions don’t affect God’s plans for me because He is sovereign and good, even when bad things happen. I didn’t do anything to deserve the gift of salvation, and I didn’t do anything to deserve getting sick. Even though I couldn’t understand it at the time, I began praying that the Lord would start showing me the good that would come out of having cancer, for “we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

There is so much more that I could tell you about my cancer journey and what the Lord taught me (and is still continuing to teach me). Please ask me about it; I’m an open book! Long story short, the Lord healed me and I was able to return to college the second semester of my sophomore year. My junior and senior years of college I noticed a gradual transformation as I matured in my faith. I felt like a new person. I developed a passion for the Lord that wasn’t there before. I started reading the Bible every day, because I wanted to (not because I felt like I had to). I started learning what it meant to be a true follower of Jesus in the day-to-day with dying to my selfish desires and serving those around me. More importantly, the Lord showed me that despite my “good girl” image, I was still a sinner in need of a Savior. My pride, selfishness, and people-pleasing still grieved the heart of the Lord, no matter how obvious it was to others. Since moving to Dallas in 2020 after graduating, I have experienced a lot of growth in my faith after getting plugged into a great church and forming a wonderful community of friends who push me towards the Lord and keep me accountable. I’m not perfect, and will never be; I still struggle every day with fear of man and not trusting the Lord’s goodness. But because of God’s grace, His mercies are new every morning, and I can rest knowing that I am a child of God and that each day with His help I can look more and more like Him. I’m so thankful for what God has done in my life, and what He will do in the future.

If you have placed your trust in the Lord, you have a unique story of how the Lord saved you from your sin and has given you a new identity in Christ. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20). No matter what you’ve done in the past or if you think you have a boring testimony, YOUR STORY MATTERS. Regardless of your story, gifts, and weaknesses/struggles, you are called to live purposefully for the glory of God. Though you are living your own story that God wrote long before you were born, everything about your story is being used (and will be used) for His glory. Because that’s what our purpose on this earth is – to know Him and make Him known.