I’ve been telling everyone that I’m in my “grandma era” as of late. Many nights I want to be in my cozy pajamas, in bed at 9:30 with a cup of chamomile tea and a good book in hand. I’m in my mid-20’s, and even though I don’t feel very old, I have had a gradual maturation in how I spend my time. I’ve started valuing slowing down and not rushing, getting enough sleep, and spending time with the people that I care about most. I’m trying to avoid falling into the vortex of hustle culture and lead a slower and quieter life instead.  

I had a conversation with my mom that opened my eyes to how much our culture has changed as life has become much faster-paced. I made a comment that I couldn’t imagine a time before phones where you made an appointment to meet a friend for lunch on a Saturday and just hoped that they would show up because there wasn’t an easy way to contact them. And what if something came up and you had to cancel? My mom said, “Well, that is true, but people didn’t jam pack their schedules like they do now.” Her comment struck me because due to technology, we can go to back-to-back meetings or events with friends (I have often gone to three events in one night because I didn’t want to miss out) without batting an eye. However, is that always best?  

For many of you reading this, if you’re a young professional, you likely live in a city or close to one because that’s where the jobs and the friends are. I have lived in Dallas almost five years and have loved it, but recently I have been trying to re-prioritize my time. I have felt a lot of pressure in the past to say yes to the work happy hour, volunteer at every church event, and go to that random house-warming party. Though being young and in our 20’s and 30’s is so much fun because there is always something going on, I believe that we weren’t made to constantly fill our schedules every second. “How,” you ask, “can you slow down in a city?” Even though living in a city will never be as slow as living in a smaller town or out in the country, I believe that there are ways to restructure our time, slow down, and be truly present in every moment regardless of where we live. 

One of the first ways to slow down is to start saying no. For the fellow people-pleasers out there (myself included), this is a tall order. I dislike declining an invitation because I appreciate being included, and I don’t want to disappoint or hurt any feelings. However, those aren’t good reasons to say yes to something that might be a timewaster and not a time-enhancer. One helpful question to ask is “Does this event/invitation fit into my schedule?” Or if you are unsure, ask “Will I be constantly running around all day if I say yes to this invitation?” Another question to ask is simply, “Would going to this event/hangout bring me joy?” Now I realize that often we are required to attend some things that we don’t particularly want to go to, such as work events or maybe even your acquaintance’s birthday party. But if an extracurricular activity is not required, we shouldn’t feel any obligation to go. If you live in a city, saying no is especially important because you often have to factor in driving time. It is wise to decline an invitation if you would feel stressed or frazzled when you show up. 

Spending time outside in nature also allows us to be fully present and to slow down. I realize that this can be difficult to do, but almost every city has some kind of walking trail or hiking outside the city. I even take frequent walks around my neighborhood because it tends to be quieter than a trail deeper in the city. Additionally, I occasionally take a walk without my earphones in so that I can walk in silence. Doing so allows me to spend time in prayer, or simply just to enjoy the present moment. Have you ever stopped to simply observe and marvel at the vibrancy of the yellow flowers along the sidewalk or the way that the leaves rustle in the wind? 

Another important way to slow down is to prioritize mealtimes and eating slowly. I am not very good at this as I go into the office every day and often don’t have much time to go home, eat, and then head off to serve at my church or meet with a friend. However, if possible, there is so much value in sitting down to a home-cooked meal and enjoying eating it slowly. It’s also better for your health to chew your food slowly and allow your digestive system to work properly! Getting takeout or fast food is tempting and readily available in a city but doing so feeds into hustle culture. If you don’t have time to cook or go home to eat leftovers, should you have really scheduled something? There is also something ceremonial about sitting down to a home-cooked meal with a group of friends or your family and spending two or three hours talking. If you’ve ever traveled to Europe, you may have noticed that even at restaurants, Europeans generally tend to eat more slowly and spend more time conversing over their meals than Americans. The Bible is full of examples of Jesus valuing sharing a meal with friends and taking their time, such as the first Passover meal. 

Spending time away from technology leads to being present. It also forces us to slow down because we aren’t worried about that pool party we didn’t get invited to that we saw on Instagram or about responding to that text message. This could look like taking a “sabbath” from your phone one day of the weekend, completely turning it off and putting it away. Or instead of watching a TV show before bed, you could pick up a book. Practically, whenever you are spending time with someone, not looking at your phone and being fully present in the conversation is honoring the person you’re with as you give your undivided attention to them and avoid the need to look at every notification that pops up on your phone. 

Combatting hustle culture can be difficult, especially when not everyone is on the same page or aware of how fast they are going. However, being mindful of how we’re spending our time and trying to slow down or hit the pause button can have a tremendous impact on our health and our relationships. We can remind ourselves of Jesus’ encouragement to His disciples to slow down in Mark 6:31— “And he said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.” We weren’t created to always be rushing, even if we live in a city. Now, let me get back to my book.